the worst music news on the web
Do you like music? Do you dislike music criticism? Do you think that music is best enjoyed at volumes that rival the birth of the Sun? Have you ever opened a fridge and thought, “Man, I wish I had some Dr. Pepper,” but then remembered that you don’t even like Dr. Pepper? Do you have strong opinions? Do you like having fun? Do you wish I would stop asking you questions?
Then you’re in the right place, because from here on out, it’s no questions, only answers. Yes, we’re going to answer every single question related to music that has ever existed. And we’re going to do it with no style whatsoever.
Welcome to hardlyknower.net.
Enjoy.
articles
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It Is So Not Over, Bros
The underappreciated Kid Swim is finally back, and just as awesome The day has finally come. I never thought it would. I thought the rest of my life would pass without another synth-laden, underwater groove of one certain type gracing my parched eardrums. I’ve been waiting for this day since 2017. Molly Parden has swirling,…
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We Have Been Threatened Into Dancing, and We Will Comply
Song review: “Please Dance, I have a gun! :)” by Talent Show is potentially the most fun song of the year These are the places in which we are forcibly instructed – nay, requested – to dance by new arrivals on the music scene, Talent Show. If we do not do this – it is…
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Bad Musicians Are Great, Actually
Why people like Corey Feldman are a treasure to humankind The unfortunately titled “Jump Back Black Cat (Gimme That Rock & Roll)” is, as I write this, the newest addition to the oeuvre of the notorious, the famed, the controversial, the almost universally panned musician – the one, the only: The Corey Feldman. I know…
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The Chillest Trip of All Time
Why you should listen to The Squirez’ Midwest Goodbye your next free sunny day. We at hardlyknower.net fucking love dinosaurs. We consider them the most important animals in the history of Earth, and we don’t think humans even come close. Consider this an official statement. Anything to do with dinosaurs is media worth consuming, and…
PSA
Now that you have visited this site, you have been cursed. Every time you hear a word ending in E-R, you must say, [something]-er? I hardly know ‘er!
Thus it is written. Come back soon.
